Why?
by Digimagic
Summary: Yullen YuuAllen . He didn’t understand. Why the panic? Why the fear? Kanda seems to know, even when Allen doesn’t.


_**edit 08/05/08: This has now been edited by CyberDeletion. (Who sent the edited version to me a looong time ago but I forgot about it till now...oops?)**_

_**A/N:**_ Okay so I haven't written anything in over a month and I haven't posted anything for a few months. Things at home have been kind of up and down, add to that dealing various friends dramas, my creative energy has been sucked from me. BUT I feel like I have to write something or I'm going to go insane! My obsession is DGM and I'm in love with Yullen. So with that in mind I'm going to write this quick one-shot. I will post more soon (hopefully). Please enjoy!

_**Warning:**_ Boy-Love. Yaoi. Shonen ai. Whatever you wanna call males kissing and loving other males this has that. Understand? Yes. Don't like? Bye then cause I see no gun.

_**Summary:**_ Yullen (YuuAllen). He didn't understand. Why the panic? Why the fear? Kanda seems to know, even when Allen doesn't.

_**Disclaimer:**_ …wouldn't I have money if I owned D.Gray-man? -looks around- I see no money. So obviously I don't own it.

_**Dgraymandressingroomonlivejournalislove**_

_**Why?**_

Unusually lackluster gray eyes stare up at the starless night as he lies upon his back, his thoughts wrapped around the events of earlier that day. That event playing out over and over in his mind and his reaction. The way his heart seemed to stop at the sight of _his_ blood as it splattered against the wall. The feel of the tears that were already gathering in his eyes at seeing _his_ pain. The ferocity in which he took in protecting _his_ unconscious body.

This wasn't the first time he had seen the other exorcist get hurt; in all honesty**,** he's seen him get hurt much worse then this before. So why did it worry him this time? Why did he panic this time? They are both exorcists, they are prepared to die at any moment. He knew that neither of them really expect to live past this war, to see the outcome of their efforts. So why?

_Blood runs from the open gash so close to his heart. He stumbles, not expecting the harsh blow so suddenly. Black hair comes __loose__ as more sharp objects come seeking blood. His consciousness starts to __waver__ from the previous blow to his head.__ He didn't expect the sudden onslaught to stop as suddenly as it started. __He slips to the ground, though against his will, as words slip past his lips. He doesn't know what he's saying, nor does he really care, as he slips from his senses._

He usually protected someone out of instinct or out of a need to see them safe. This was different. He hadn't protected because of either. He protected him out of fear. He protected him because he panicked. He protected him without understanding why. He protected him, wanting Kanda to live. He protected him so he could heal him. Why? Why? _Why?_ He doesn't understand any of this.

The young, white-haired teen throws an arm across his eye, a sigh leaving his lips. "Why?"

"Tch. 'Why' what, Moyashi?"

The white-haired one only tenses for a moment. "Nothing, Kanda. And it's Allen."

Allen adds the last parts with a sigh. Kanda sits down next to Allen, one leg drawn up to his chest as the other one stretches out. The arm closest to Allen dangles to his side as the other one hooks around his leg. He tilts his head back as he speaks. "Why did you protect me? Why did you panic? Why did you feel such immense fear at the thought of losing me? I just read your mind, right?"

Allen remains silent as the other speaks, his arm remains over to cover his eyes as tears prick at them. How does he know? What does he know? Allen doesn't respond to the samurai exorcist's words. Why voice what the other already **seems** to know?

Dark eyes turn and stare evenly at the other laying next to him. "You really don't understand your own feelings?"

The gray-eyed teen growls in his throat at the mildly mocking yet thoroughly teasing tone. He wants to stand up and leave. He wants to get away but he can't move. He is frozen there. "Shut up! So what if I don't understand. You're telling me you do? They're my feelings, so how do you know?"

Movement. Kanda changes his position so that he's now leaning over Allen. He moves the arm made of innocence from over gray eyes then lays his arms next on either side of Allen's head."Because you're too innocent to realize, you're in love with me."

Tears finally make their way from Allen's eyes as Kanda softly lays his lips over his own. He feels Kanda's fingers as they rest upon his cheek, their warmth spreading throughout him. He kisses back lightly, as the black haired one slips his tongue out to taste Allen's lips. When they part Allen can see affection within Kanda's eyes. Only one word slips out from his lips. "Why?"

Kanda moves close to Allen's ear and whispers into it softly. "There is no answer to 'why' in love. It's **too** idiotic to be explained." Kanda then layered his lips over Allen's again. There was no point in words.

_**dreaminggloryteatimedaisyathemightyforthewin**_

_**A/N:**_ Wow…somehow I'm not surprised with this result. Somehow I can see Allen being in love and yet not know it. I don't think I'm ever going to get Kanda to actually SAY 'I love you' in any of my stories. You just kind of get the idea. Actions speak louder then words, yes? Well I hope you enjoyed and if you want you can tell me of you did! Cause, like most other authors, reviews are loved.


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